8 Andrew

Mar 16th, 2008 | By | Category: Monologues etc

Andrew and Peter’s bank manager gets flustered

Ah, Andrew. Come in, come in. Do have a seat there. Another fine day; if a little too hot for me.

All well, I hope. How’s your mother-in-law?

Of course, it was your brother’s mother-in-law who was unwell. I remember now. Anyway, I trust she’s well?

Good. Good. Worrying about loved ones always affects our work.

Your brother’s well? Good.

Being honest, I would have preferred to see you and your brother together, but you know as well as I do that Peter is a bit hot-headed at times; a bit, shall we say, impetuous. I thought it might be easier for all of us if you and I had a quiet chat together. I’m sure we can get thing straightened out between us and avoid any unpleasantness.

Let me find your file. Yes, here it is. Now, where are the latest figures? Ah, I have them here.

Yes. I’m afraid to say that we have become rather concerned at your cashflow situation. Now, there might be very good reasons for it, perhaps you have a large amount that you have not had an opportunity to deposit? Something to reduce this rather large overdraft?

You haven’t?

Ah, I see. You see we were rather counting on you being able to show that you were solvent. We have been dealing with you for sometime and we just assumed that this was just a temporary oversight. Your business has been very regular up until now and we have never had any cause for concern until recently.

Tell me. Are there problems with the fishing at the moment? All industries go up and down, good times and bad times. Perhaps we can see our way to extending your overdraft if we feel that things will come right again.

There are no problems with the fishing. I see.

Andrew, you are not being very helpful. We have been doing business with your family for years, your father was one of my first clients, never in all that time has there been a problem. Then one of my clerks comes to me and says that your account has had no lodgment for months. You must admit, it is very odd. A pair of hard working men and no money coming in, there must be some explanation.

You have no money because you have stopped work. Oh, are you unwell?

You’re fine. You’re fine and you have stopped work. You have just stopped fishing. I don’t understand it, don’t understand it at all.

Andrew, I have known you since you were a boy, since you took over the boat, what are you doing? How are you spending your time?

You’re following Jesus of Nazareth. Well, that’s very nice for you, but what about the bills, what about this overdraft?

You will sell your property. Fine. and what happens when that money runs out?

God will provide?

Oh dear, oh dear. This will not do. Andrew, as your professional adviser, as someone with your best interests at heart, I must say this is a wrong decision. You will never make any money. No, I’m telling you, you follow Jesus of Nazareth and you will end up poor.

I really don’t see it as something to smile about, I’m telling you, no good will come of all this, you will be a poor man!

3 comments
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  1. I am enjoying this series. I like the different perspective. I hope they go down well and that you get plenty of ‘bums on seats’!

  2. With ears open!!

  3. I do hope they’ll turn up in a Lent book for 2009 – keep writing! Love these pieces.

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