4 Herod

Mar 16th, 2008 | By | Category: Writing

Herod’s press officer explains the necessity for tough security measures

Good evening.

Thank you for coming.

This press conference has been called to give members of the press and the wider public the opportunity to be aware of the facts surrounding recent security operations.

No-one can fail to be aware of the ever present terrorist threat in our country and of the potential for small groups of extremists to destabilize our country. Any responsible administration must take measures to safeguard national security. Such measures will by their very nature be unpopular in some quarters, indeed their very unpopularity may be a mark of their effectiveness.

Religious elements within our society have behaved in a grossly irresponsible manner, suggesting that there would be sudden and unexpected changes and creating a mood of anticipation in the general population which quickly turned to a mood of discontent. The government has been conscious that there are those who would wish to subvert the present order and establish a rule very different from the nation with which we are familiar.

The latest threat to our country’s stability was the most serious and could not be ignored. Our country was infiltrated by foreign agents who unwittingly established contact with the government in their attempts to link up with those they sought. Intelligence sources were able to identify the location of the threat, but not the precise persons.

Faced with an undeniable challenge to the integrity of our country and to the fabric of our society, we were left with no choice but to employ military force in a precise, surgical strike against targets identified by our agents on the ground. Sadly, such operations always carry with them the risk of collateral damage and we do of course regret any unnecessary loss of life. However, it must be emphasized that such decisions are only taken when our nation is confronted with the gravest of threats.

I can confirm that this morning, in defence of the safety and stability of our nation, all males under the age of two years in the town of Bethlehem and its vicinity were liquidated by members of our defence forces. We hope that this operation will have secured the well-being of our country and our people for the foreseeable future and will be a warning to anyone making claims to power that belongs only in the hands of the lawful authorities.

This concludes the statement.

We will not be taking questions.

2 comments
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  1. Scarily brilliant and apart from the age of the victims (even GWB would have trouble justifying that one) . . .to too predictive of today’s events.

  2. And the spy cameras would detect any that had escaped.Very believable too especially in todays paranoid world.

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