A Hettie Wainwright type despairs at her sister

Now, where did I put it?

Mary! Mary! Have you moved anything in here?

Don’t suppose that’s very likely – it wouldn’t be like you to move anything. You would walk around it before you moved it.

Now, think! Think! Where did I put it? I came in and Ben from up the street was here, he had called about something, and I . . . and I, what?

Yes. I came in and I put everything down here and I moved over there to talk to Ben and then I came back here to unpack the vegetables, and, I put it . . . here!

Good. I’m glad I found that, it is a long walk back to the shop.

I wonder what Ben was here about; I didn’t get time to ask him.

Mary! Mary! Are you there, Mary?

Mind you, Mary is such a daydreamer that she’s probably forgotten by now why Ben called; that’s if she thought to ask him in the first place. That sister of mine is hopeless, were it not for the fact that I was brought up with my feet very firmly on the ground, we’d be out of house and home.

Mary! Mary!

I really don’t know why I’m bothering to call her, anyway. It’s not as though she would be of any help. I would stand here and I would say, “What about doing such and such?” She would say, “Yes, of course, I’ll do that” and I’d no sooner have turned my back than she would have forgotten what it was.

Oh! Who is that at the door now? I haven’t even tidied up. Who would be calling at this time of the day?

Mary! Are you at home at all today?

I’m just coming, just coming. Hold on a moment.

Hello! It’s you, this is unexpected. It’s wonderful to see you, wonderful.

Go in there and sit down, you must be tired. I’ll fetch some drinks. I’m only just back myself. Don’t look at the house, it’s very untidy. I don’t know what Mary has been doing all day.

Mary! Mary!

Oh, where is she? Guests for supper and not a sign of her. I’m telling you, we would be out on the street if it weren’t for me, out on the street.

Ah, Mary! You haven’t even cleared up the breakfast things, what am I going to do with you?

Right now, let’s get organized.

It’s good there’s someone who knows how to be a good host.

Let me see, have I enough cups? I think that should be enough. I wonder have I enough food though, I suppose it depends who is staying.

Hello! Would you open the door for me so I can bring this tray through? There’s so much talking they don’t even hear me.

Hello! I’m coming through with the tray!

Mind your back, John. Andy, would you bring that table over?

Mary! There you are; where have you been? What do you mean “you went for a walk”? Well, come on now and give me a hand.

Mary, we would all like to sit and listen, but there’s work to do.

OK, I’ll sit down, but only for five minutes. Five minutes now.

The world would be in a bad way if we all sat down.