The death of a stranger — 6 Comments

  1. Thank you Ian for this very honest, and straight forward post right from your heart. Death, whether swift like a bolt of lightening, or the long lingering inch by inch disintegration of the body, it still leaves behind a gaping hole in the lives of a young family. It is certainly not for praising or indeed glorifying.

    You know, I sometimes question modern medicine and the rush to sustain life when in fact we are only delaying the event of death. With this delay, the patient is often existing in a half world of a drug induced stupor that only camouflage the pain. Morphine does not kill pain, it only makes it like it does not matter.

  2. The thing that most annoys me is the attitude that through palliative care death can be ‘managed’. It might be possible to partly manage the process of dying; it is never possible to manage death.

  3. Oh Ian you write again so deeply from your heart. Those words strike such a chord in me. I was only 7 and there had been no illness. Death was very final and life changing at that age. I still remember him very clearly and see so many aspects of him in my sons. My prayers and sympathy to Miriam’s friend and her family. Your words are always such a balm and blessing.

  4. I am always filled with admiration for children who cope with a death in the family.

    The news this morning seemed to bring an overwhelming sadness – perhaps it evoked a whole complex of personal fears.

  5. My husband’s only sibling died suddenly aged 42 and left behind a young wife & 2 young sons – that was almost 12 years ago but the shock of his sudden & untimely death never really left me – a sudden death is quite different to one which you are somewhat prepared for though no matter how well prepared you think you are death always comes as a shock & you just know your life will never be the same again.

  6. I think Tom Stoppard’s point about the experience deepening would be reflected in the experience of your husband’s nephews; all the milestones they would pass when their friends’ dads would be there and they would realize their dad was missing.

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