Walking into the Spar shop, there was a need for something that might be eaten at leisure. A Mars bar ice cream would suffice. “£1.50, please”, asked the lady at the counter. For the purpose, it would have been cheap at twice the price. Walking across the village green, I sat on a bench, unwrapped the ice cream and stared at the house that, for years, had so frightened me.
In the days before natural gas reached our corner of the West of England, there was town gas. No-one ever explained why it was more dangerous than the gas from the North Sea, and no-one ever explained from which town it came. But in our village, people had gas produced by a gasworks.
The danger of such gas became clear when a mother and her son who lived in the house at the corner of the village green died following a gas leak. Not a leak in their house, for they had no gas supply, but a leak from the gas main that passed down the street.
Such matters were not discussed with a boy of six, and the curtains of the house seemed always drawn, making it impossible to imagine what it might be like on the inside; but the sight of the house became something frightening. Death is an alien concept when you are six years old, and that someone should die from something that might be obtained by putting sixpence in a meter seemed incomprehensible.
For close on fifty years, it was not possible to pass through that village without a chill feeling when seeing the house on the green. Perhaps it had been an introduction to death, perhaps it had been a threat to the assumed security and stability of life in 1960s rural England. Perhaps there was something even less tangible.
The house is an attractive building without a hint of a past. It is far removed from anything that might be disturbing. Its persistence in the memory was irrational.
Finishing the ice cream, I walked to the churchyard. Had the mother and son been buried here? Probably, but having no recall of their name, the grave would not have been easily found.
Sitting at a meal this evening, I asked my mother, “Who were the mother and son who died from the gas leak?”
“The Thomases? You don’t remember them, do you?”
“I remember them dying, for years I was frightened by their house”.
“Why did you never say?”
But what would have been said? Isn’t that the problem with childhood fears? If there were words, they could be articulated, and then there would have been nothing of which to be frightened. Love might cast out fear; knowledge is even more effective.
There is much that can be achieved with an ice cream.